FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING

Imagine the first cavemen to discover that yes, apples are both edible and delicious.  How could you possibly describe the very first time that you taste something new and fresh and delicious like that?  There are no words.  And for cavemen, there were literally no words.  You can't even compare it to the first time that a child has an apple, children eat all sort of sweetened things from birth.  Their relatively short lifetime is already filled with baby foods, the little jars of pureed apple and banana and pear prepares them for when you eventually gift them with that first bright and shiny apple.  But the first primitive man to chomp on an apple, that must have been a hell of a good day for him or her.  What else did they eat back then?  I'm imagining they had a lot of poorly charred meat.  Or perhaps just raw.  Tough and gamy, stringy, getting in between your caveman teeth and up in your gums.  And then you find one of these round, smooth and shiny red things.  What the heck is this?  It doesn't look like burnt meat.  Well, guess I'll try to bite it.  Right?  Shouldn't I bite it?  I'm biting it.  And then, happiness.  But then after that, the cavemen was looking around and thinking "maybe I should be biting more stuff," and I bet that's when the very first asshole was born.